Just yesterday, I randomly found an article on Huffington Post entitled: Seeking Arrangement: College Students Using 'Sugar Daddies' To Pay Off Loan Debt. I don't remember exactly how I came upon this article, but the 4 page story shocked me.
I recommend you read the article before continuing on with the rest of my post. But, for those of you who do not want to, here's the main jist.
Due to recent stress on the economy and the rise of college tuition, there has been an increase in sugar babies. A good portion of the new sugar babies are young women in college who desperately need money to pay off their student loans. One of the websites benefiting from this "sugar baby boom" is "Seeking Arrangement", a site that helps match sugar babies to sugar daddies/mommies based on described preferences. The article reveals how the website was founded, who makes up the population of sugar babies and sugar daddies using the site, and the intentions of those people. (As this article was posted in the Women's section, sugar mommies or male sugar babies are not mentioned.) It also discusses whether the exchange of money for companionship and/or sex between a sugar daddy and a sugar baby is prostitution, and how the secrecy of the "relationship" can create double/split personalities in the sugar babies.
A lot of thoughts ran through my mind when I first read it.
"I feel terrible for the sugar babies!"
"The founder of the website is such a creeper."
"How comes the article doesn't talk about male sugar babies and sugar mommies?"
"Of course, this is prostitution."
"Would I ever do this in their situation?"
It seemed that the women involved in this arrangements only looked at their situation as a temporary one. While that may be true, I feel that the repercussions of their engagement in such a risky business will last for sure.
For example, will the women be able to have a normal healthy relationship with men afterwards? It's not just a one-time thing for these women, they have to go on multiple "dates" if they want to get rid of all their debts. For a woman to decide to become a sugar baby, she had to have geared her mind toward the idea that having sex for money is an acceptable act to some degree. Eventually, even after she is done being a sugar baby and start looking for a serious relationship, she may still have that mindset. After all, an idea accepted for a long period of time is often hard to reject. Having such attitude toward sex will most likely detriment any normal relationship for the former sugar baby may subconsciously treat the other as a sugar daddy. Rather than wanting a relationship founded on mutual emotional connections with the underlying give-and-take, she may just want a relationship where she is given materialistic gifts and money just for being his girlfriend!
Furthermore, if the women end up encountering someone dangerous, the lasting consequences may be the physical, emotional, and psychological damage of rape or even death. There could be another "Craigslist Killer"!!!
Do I sympathize with these women? Well, I am biased as I am also a woman in college, and I can acknowledge that desperate times call for desperate measures. I just hope that I am never forced to partake in such activities.
So far, I only focused on the (seemingly helpless) sugar babies and neglected to address the sugar daddies. I do not have much to say about them except the fact that they are really creepy. In the article, a sugar daddy said in regard to the arrangements that "I guess I like the college girls more because I think of their student debt as good debt. At least it seems like I'm helping them out, like I'm helping them to get a better life." If he really wanted to help out the students, he would only donate, and not ask for anything else. Aside from their feel-good reasons for being sugar daddies, I can only suspect that their true reason is their lust for youthful women. I wish I can condemn them for "using" the women, but as the women are also using them for money, I have nothing to comment.
In this post, I have only poorly expressed my shallow opinions on the matter. So to further enrich your reading experience, I ask you, what do you think about all this? Would you ever be a sugar baby if you were strapped for money? Do you think it is excusable for women to essentially sell their bodies to pay back student loans?
<3,
Margi
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Give Me Some Sugar, Baby?
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Unless you've experienced the hopelessness of trying to come up with a huge amount of money with a job that pays $8/hr, you can't possibly understand the allure. People do what they have to do, and live with the consequences. (I, actually, believe that prostitution should be legal -- better to have it regulated and aboveboard, then subversive and dangerous for clients and prostitutes alike).
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can suggest that these men "donate" to the women, because frankly there are far nobler and better causes to donate to in this world. If these men truly were the donating type, they would donate to some reputable organization, not some college girls.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think you should necessarily feel bad for these sugar babies. Unless you are going to go out and pay for their tuition, your pity or empathy really means nothing. I would guess that these women are independent enough to make these decisions on their own accord. I don't think they necessarily want pity, they seem very practical from reading the article and are doing "what needs to be done."
I also don't understand why you label the founder of the website as a creeper with such a negative connotation. In fact, he is like thousands of men out there who are socially inept or awkward just trying to be happy. If he happens to make millions of dollars from it, then all the better. Could you please explain why your immediate reaction to him is to label him as a "creeper?"
I'm sure there are male sugar babies and mommas, but it IS Huffpost Women, not Huffpost Men.
Same sentiments as the anonymous commentor above me, a lot of the negative connotation of prostitution comes from the statistical fact that it is associated with violence, drugs, etc. But in a pure economical sense, if a women wants to sell her body for money, it should be perfectly fine. Women can sell their eggs, women can do services, prostitution, however, is deemed immoral for some reason by society.
And I don't think either of us could understand the desperation of some of these women, having been relatively better off.
But thank you for this post, I did not know such sugar babies existed, but it does not surprise me in the least.